They said you need to relax.

Ok, you ask yourself, so why is it so hard to relax?

Of course, there's an infinite number of reasons why. Stress at work. Monkey mind. Unresolved trauma. A compulsive need to accomplish something. You name it.

There's also a less dramatic possibility. It's just your nature.

Hold up there. Rude. You're saying I can't relax because that's just the way I am?

Not quite, soldier. But ask yourself this: what kind of animal are you?

Excuse me?

Yes, what kind of animal are you? Remember the Socratic "Know Thyself"?

I still don't follow.

Well, I'll spell out how it makes sense for me. Let's see how it resonates for you.

I felt like I needed to relax more. I'd go to a resort or a hot spring to unplug, restore, all that good stuff. And yet, while I was there, I'd get bored or agitated.

Oh no. What's wrong with me?

Nothing. While there's a time and a place to unplug, and there's certainly something to be said for mindfulness, sometimes our nature requires stimulation. Not from electronics necessarily, but something that will exhaust your inner animal.

Have you ever had a dog? How about a big dog?

If you've gotten a big dog with a lot of energy, you'll know that the beast needs to go on its walks. It needs to go outside. It needs to sniff and smell. It needs to run around. It needs to socialize with other dogs. It needs stimulation.

What happens when it's understimulated?

It chews on the furniture. It starts biting itself. It becomes neurotic.

So if you can't relax, maybe it's because you're not getting your baseline stimulation in.

Whoa, so does that mean I should always be working?

Alright, my extremist, black-and-white thinker, calm down. No. Let's read into the nuance.

You can unplug from your work, from your career, from your to-do list and still require stimulation. These are not mutually exclusive. You can stimulate your mind and body with a hobby, traveling, writing, exercise—whatever engages you that is not necessarily tied to an objective. Let's call it active relaxation.

Relaxing doesn't necessarily look like sitting on a beach and doing nothing but drinking cocktails and eating whatever the resort gives you. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but some of us are like big dogs. Some of us are German Shepherds, Huskies, whatever. We actually need some stimulation.

Otherwise, we become neurotic.

So next time you find yourself frustrated that you "can't relax," ask yourself: what kind of animal are you? You might be the kind that needs active relaxation.