"...always do your best, no more and no less." — Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

Growing up, I was taught to always do my best in everything I did. I understood this to mean exerting maximum effort to achieve my goals—doing everything I could. If I failed at something, it was usually because I hadn't worked hard enough or long enough.

When I first read The Four Agreements several years ago, Ruiz's definition of "doing your best" struck me. No less than your best, sure, I get that. But no more? What do you mean, "no more than your best"? I thought more than your best was exhaustion, complete depletion—something beyond what you can actually do. What do you mean by "no more"?

As I reflected on this idea, I began to appreciate its depth. Our best is relative to the day, the moment, the task, and the importance of what's at hand. It's relative to our priorities and values. If I think of doing my best as equating to maximum effort or achieving some arbitrarily high bar, I will end up dispersing my energy across everything I do. The things that truly need my focused energy won't get it because I'm trying to "do my best" at everything.

Doing your best means making hard choices. Maybe doing my best in the context of my life means choosing to put more effort into one area over another. Doing my best as an artist may mean I cannot do my best to become a principal engineer at some company. Doing my best doesn't mean fulfilling some capacity for everything. It means doing what we can, day by day, to pursue the work of our lives that aligns with our spirit and the greater good—meeting the needs of both the individual and the collective.

I used to want to do everything, and the older I get, the more I realize that I cannot do everything. Shocker, I know. It's both a relief and a terror. Doing my best doesn't mean I get to do everything. Doing your best requires making a choice, having an awareness of yourself, your spirit, and your needs. What is it that you will do your best at?

Lately, I've been working hard on a software contract. I've been building out a feature and encountered many challenges along the way—unexpected bugs and slow feedback cycles have made this stretch of work exhausting. I came up with solutions, but my team wanted something better. My solutions fixed the problem but didn't meet the standard. I was doing my best, but I was also pushing myself to do more than my best. I've been getting exhausted, depleted, deflated—and ultimately fearful that I might not keep the contract.

On the one hand, I have an urge to push harder: put in more hours, show up, be responsive, etc. On the other hand, my exhaustion and frustration might be a compass showing that I'm not doing my best—I'm doing more than my best. That doesn't mean I should give up or even pull back from my commitment to do good work. It might mean working smarter, not harder. Where can I find more leverage in what I can offer? Perhaps I can focus on other tickets while awaiting feedback for the current work, rather than letting this work block my progress.

The primary benefit of doing your best is moving forward in life without regrets. If you know you did your best, there's nothing to regret because what happens beyond that is out of your control. Humbly relinquish control and responsibility over that which is beyond you.

Maybe you can relate. Have you worked too hard on something, putting in more than your best? Have you regretted putting in less than your best?