Know the difference between being corrective and standing up for yourself.

I've been in the midst of a move, corresponding with a property manager to get the new place move-in ready. Her communication style has struck me as abrasive and rude. She has called or texted as late as 8 or 9 p.m., which feels intrusive.

My general policy is to stay firm, polite, and professional. However, some of her texts crossed a threshold, leaving me upset. Without delving into specifics, her tone rubbed me the wrong way.

When facing situations like this, my options for recourse seem limited. I could report her to a manager or leave a negative online review—but would those actions make any real impact? Probably not.

What I can do is set a boundary. I could tell her:

• That I will not tolerate being spoken to disrespectfully.
• That her behavior is unprofessional.
• That I will not engage with her if this continues.

Can I reasonably expect her to change? No. There’s no evidence to suggest she’d be receptive to feedback, nor is there enough at stake for her to care. A corrective approach likely holds no power here.

But setting a boundary does.

Even if it doesn’t change the other person’s behavior, standing up for yourself builds internal trust. It signals to your own psyche that you value and protect yourself. This is a stand for your inner child, your self-respect, and your well-being. It’s about saying, “I will not let a bully or oppressive force treat me badly.”

This trust you build with yourself is invaluable.

Ultimately, whether or not you say something aloud, knowing the why behind your action empowers you. If your goal is to change someone else’s behavior, they hold the power. If your goal is to honor yourself, your work is complete.

The next time you’re in a dilemma, empower yourself by clarifying your intentions before taking action.