Ask Yourself: Is it Force or Is it Flow?

When you're stuck, when you've knocked on a door a hundred times, when the path doesn't open up, what do you do? You can thrash, kick the door down, create your own path. Sometimes that's necessary, but forcing your way through is cost-intensive.

Flow finds a different way. If one door doesn't open, try another. When there is no path in sight, hunt for undiscovered avenues. Creative thinking is more of a friend to you than control.

Force vs Flow in Everyday Life

I keep this in mind when it comes to friendships and opportunities. Is it easy to make plans with a new friend, or are you putting in all the effort? Are you cold-applying to jobs online or finding connections who can get you hired? Flow and force are not only descriptive of experience; they are strategic dispositions we can apply to go for what we want.

The Concept of Confirmation

This distinction resonates with a Bahá'í concept I love: confirmation. The idea of confirmation is that God (or "the Universe" if you're allergic to the G-word) will confirm our paths by creating opportunities with ease when we pursue them.

For example, let’s say I've applied to a hundred jobs as a product manager, and nothing is panning out. I decide to shift and apply for a job as a software engineer and get it super easily. Loosely, there is confirmation that this path is good for me or where I "should" go.

The Feeling of Flow

When I think of flow, I think of it as a feeling. Things feel easier, almost magical, as they work out in ways I could not have foreseen. I am showing up and making an effort to keep moving, but I am not forcing my way through. I show up, do my part, and let the rest happen.

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When you find yourself stuck, ask yourself if there's a path of flow available to you. What new doors can you knock on?

What areas of your life could benefit from shifting from force to flow?