The best way to uncover what you don’t even know you don’t know? Friends.

Close friends. The ones you trust.

The ones who will tell you something you might not like. The ones whose feedback you can take in — even when it’s hard.

They’ll let you know when you’re coming off cold or distant, when your choices might hurt you or others — and what you need to hear. And they'll also respect pushback — you all trust in the back and forth of sharing perspectives that leads to a more complete understanding.

It’s not just about self-awareness. Sometimes friends show you possibilities — ways of living, expressing, or enjoying — that wouldn’t have occurred to you on your own.

I had two dear friends over last night for dinner. We're chatting the whole night about our week, relationships, things we're looking forward to. They're giving me suggestions for how to decorate my new apartment — LED lights here, a shoji curtain there, a vibey carpet in the living room. All things I wouldn't consider on my own.

They're also dreaming up ideas for gatherings — a firepit in the communal backyard, small concerts in my living room, and other inspired suggestions. Comfortable in my own space and mind, I can't always see the opportunities or inspirations that others do.

We all have a certain blindness to our own circumstances — but others can act as a mirror where we can see ourselves, our circumstances, and our opportunities more fully.

This is why socializing is so important. Others reflect parts of ourselves — and our lives — that we’d never catch on our own.

We need each other — to cover the blind spots, to reflect back what we can’t see, and to expand our field of vision.

That reflection is one of the greatest gifts of friendship.