Fast friendships burn bright—but often burn out just as quickly.

When you meet someone new that you really click with—the kind of person you can talk to for hours—it’s a special thing. Whether it's a friendship or romantic relationship, this isn't an everyday occurrence for most of us.

There may be a mutual desire to spend a lot of time together. You might start texting daily, calling often, wanting to share everything.

Sometimes this desire can fade as quickly as it arose. Suddenly, you're not talking. Or your feelings shift unexpectedly.

While there's nothing wrong with riding this connection rollercoaster, it can be a bit disorienting.

I've met friends I became super close with almost immediately. We clicked, we loved hanging out, we spent so much time together. Then our routines shifted—less texting, fewer hangouts. Nothing dramatic, just a quiet drifting apart.

I remember the experience leaving me with a subtle ache. I miss this person. What happened?

So I've learned to value a key component of relationships: pacing. Relationships develop through the medium of time. We need time, shared experiences, and history to build a foundation. Mutual excitement and affection are one thing, but they are also fragile without the supporting structures of a shared story.

I met a new friend, and we can talk for hours. Texting flows, conversation comes easy, and it all feels easeful. There's often a pull within me to reach out—but I've learned to temper this inner yearning with the wisdom of pacing. Part of the process is trusting that the friendship will unfold, and that time and space are actually healthy for our shared story.

So here's my invitation: build in space, not just closeness. Let your relationships breathe. Give them time to become what they’re meant to be. Invite pacing into your process. Remember that relationships follow an arc, and that how we move through the journey is just as important as how we show up for it.