Advice has its limits, because it comes in words.

Words are futile devices. They mean different things in different minds. The same word to you has a different register for me. And while we can attempt to codify language—define terms precisely, build consensus around meaning—the nature of words is dynamic. Ever-changing.

Language is a cultural contract that fluctuates, morphs, mutates as new people, new contexts, new technologies, and new generations start to use it. We see this most in slang: "literally" comes to mean figuratively. "Bad" means something good. "Sick" means amazing.

Perhaps this is part of the appeal of math and physics—you can get closer to a fixed reality, something with proofs, something reproducible. As opposed to language: morphing, shifting, hardly able to reach consensus.

platitudes need hosts

This dynamism of words is part of why advice can only go so far.

Whatever the platitude—"know thyself," "love your neighbor," "live in the present"—it will mean a different thing to a different person. It will be lived out in a different way. When I think of "know thyself," it means many things to me, and those meanings change across different phases of my life. The axiom is extremely dynamic.

If I tell someone the most important thing is to know yourself well, maybe it's true for them. Or maybe it's actually more important for them to be in community. Perhaps we can even expand the axiom: we can only know ourselves truly by interacting with others. Others are the mirrors by which we see ourselves.

All that to say: we may have better traction to live out what we think is a good life—and share our experiences from that—rather than to deliver platitudes about what is correct.

Or maybe a step further: these axioms and platitudes do have a place, but in order to take form, they require a host. A narrative. A story. A human living out the example of an axiom. That is the host by which we can understand, interpret, and apply the wisdom.

When we think about service as the greatest good, we draw on people like Mother Teresa. We see how she lived. We're inspired by her selflessness. The platitude takes shape through the person.

Or consider financial advice. We see someone who lived frugally, stayed below their means, didn't buy the fancy car until after reaching financial freedom. The advice—be patient, invest early, live below your means—lands because we see the life.

the instagram problem

But we have to admit these too have pitfalls.

The stories we share are only a slice of our lives. They're an Instagram post of what we've gone through—a fleeting image that we fill in. We can't see the day-to-day of someone's life. What it feels like to wake up in their bed. To walk in their shoes. We don't have access to every moment, and we certainly can't translate all of it into something that applies to us.

But that doesn't strip the utility of a model. Someone we can look up to—or if not look up to, at least emulate. We see: this person had success on this path. Perhaps I too can find success.

And of course, there's danger here. People have different circumstances, often hidden or invisible. The self-made millionaire often comes from a family that provided a stable upbringing—perhaps even financial assistance along the way. They may have worked for their money, but they also had a safety net. Their advice may not be applicable to those with different circumstances.

The challenge, then, is to find what could apply. What is transposable.

the best advice is lived

When we share advice only in words, we offer black and white. No full color. No spectrum of the experience.

But when we combine a platitude with an example—a lesson learned, paired with the story that makes it make sense—that's when the transfer happens. That's when we can actually share knowledge, or wisdom, or insight.

And even better if it's an actual lived experience. Something we share without saying, without telling. By showing only. Through our action, not through broadcasting. Through living.

The best way to give advice, then, is to live it.