Taking up space doesn’t mean being the loudest voice in the room.

It can look like something entirely your own.

Playing small doesn't help anyone.

A friend once called me très mignon. Very cute — the way you’d describe a child.

It wasn’t unkind. But it landed sideways.

I’ve chewed on it since. Some people see me as soft. Gentle. Contained.

But inside, there’s fire. An intensity — for better and for worse.

I could trace it back to adaptive patterns from childhood. Ways of shrinking to stay safe. Becoming easy to overlook.

Psychologists call it transference — habits we pick up early and carry long past their expiration date.

The power in naming a pattern is that you can start to change it.

I’m starting to see mine: a pattern of playing small. Of pretending to be smaller than I am.

Not an identity. A habit.

That distinction allows us to break the habit without breaking ourselves.

Taking up space doesn’t have to be loud. It can be a shift in how you sit. The way you speak. The words you no longer swallow.

It can be calm. Intentional. Unapologetic.

We have a right to inhabit the space we were born into.

Don’t be afraid to step into that right.