I was sick all last week and ended up watching Predator Badlands. Not a movie I'd normally touch. The dialogue is trite — painfully straightforward, predictable, more telling than showing. Exactly the kind of writing I'd have dismissed a year ago.

But it was fine. More than fine. It was exactly what I needed.

the recovering snob

I used to pride myself on being a critical viewer. If the dialogue wasn't layered, if the plot was handed to you instead of discovered, if the film prioritized spectacle over subtlety — I was out. I wanted sophisticated cinema. I wanted to understand what the director was saying, model the script writer's choices, learn something I could bring into my own work.

There's nothing wrong with that. But somewhere along the way, it became the way — the only mode I gave myself permission to engage in. Like being the good boy in the classroom, sitting up straight, paying attention, taking notes so you get the A+. If I wasn't watching with intent, I wasn't really watching.

there's no right answer

People consume media in wildly different ways. Passively while cooking. As background noise while chilling around the house. Zoned out on the couch with a fever. None of these are wrong.

The interesting thing about art is that its consumption doesn't have a correct or incorrect mode. We can argue philosophies and parameterize what the "best" way to engage might be — but there will never be a definitive answer. It will always come down to what your values are.

My values used to lean toward deep understanding — wanting to decode the filmmaker's intent, dissect the craft, carry something useful away from every viewing. That doesn't make it better or more valid than consuming something purely for pleasure. For fun. For relaxation. Not for some academic rigor.

the real question

Maybe the reflection isn't always what the media is but how we relate to it. What need is it filling? How is it serving us?

There is a danger in consuming media blindly — passively absorbing without any interface of awareness, critical thought, or filter. Without that, you're subject to the media's decisions rather than sitting in the autonomous seat of your own discernment.

But there's an equal danger on the other side: being so rigorous about your consumption that you can't just relax and enjoy something.

If you want to zone out, turn the brain off, enjoy something simple — do it consciously. And if you want to be a disciplined, rigorous cinephile — that's totally fair game too. The key isn't the mode. It's whether you chose it, or whether your autopilot did.