Writing music with others requires process. Process requires discovery. Discovery requires curiosity.

I have done my fair share of songwriting and composition on my own: write a piece, bring it to a group, draw inspiration, get it arranged, take it to the studio, get it mixed, go through mastering, and boom—you have a finished piece. But what if you want that first step to be co-creation? Written with someone else?

I've tried songwriting with several other musicians. Here's what I’ve noticed is the biggest factor that ensures good music: a "yes and" mentality. It’s about taking each other’s ideas and experimenting with them, seeing what roads they lead us down. If something really doesn’t work, trying it will reveal that. If there’s a real difference in taste or approach, that’s the time to be honest about how you feel and express that there may be a better path to a song you both feel good about.

There is such a thing as musical chemistry, and personal chemistry plays a big role in that too. Courtesy, mutual respect, and shared musical values—these are key to how joint songwriting can unfold. Finding someone with a "yes and" mentality around creation may be the single most useful trait to share.

Another liberating attitude when creating music together: it’s just music. It’s just a song. It’s not your last song. It’s not the only song you’ll ever make. It is okay to write a bad song. It’s okay to write a mediocre song. Seriously. No one cares. No one is going to think you’re stupid—and if they do, they’ve got their own stuff to work through. Embrace writing bad music, because it’s only through the process of creation that you’ll find flow. Pre-planning every detail is pre- and over-optimization. Don’t fall into that trap. Just create and play. Find the good moments in that play and concretize them.

Next time you’re in collaboration with someone, keep in mind these attitudes:

1. Have a "yes and" mentality.
2. Remember that it’s okay to write bad music.
3. The only way to creative excellence is through.