Some illusions are to our benefit.

I would never advocate for willingly deceiving ourselves or going against what is true. Amidst a milieu of toxic positivity in self-help literature, I was never able to simply "think positively" when circumstances were not going well — I could not contort my reality into something that was good or positive. Beliefs are not shape-shifters, and we should adopt them when we have at least some conviction of their truth.

My friend recently brought up the subject of free will. Do we have it? Do we not have it? We humans have argued about this for a long, long time. A man at Stanford recently claimed he could "prove" that we do not have free will. So there you have it! Case closed.

No.

I am not here to argue the validity of either side. There are arguments to be made both ways. We've been debating this point for so long because it's largely inconclusive. We cannot know for certain whether we have free will or whether fate — through God or biology — controls our every action.

If it's always inconclusive and our personal conviction is subject to which arguments sway us, we have room to choose what to believe. I have made my choice: I believe in free will. Why? Not because of a series of elegant arguments. I choose this belief because it empowers me and improves my life.

If I believe that I cannot choose any of my actions, I feel powerless. To a certain extent, I may even feel abdicated of responsibility to act according to any standard. The only argument I can see in favor of choosing to believe we have no free will is that we can feel less guilty about not achieving certain things or meeting certain standards. We could potentially have more kindness and grace.

But here's the thing: kindness and grace towards ourselves are not mutually exclusive from taking responsibility. We can have free will and still make choices that negatively affect ourselves or others. Perhaps we feel guilt for this. But we can also then make whatever we did right or do better the next time. I prefer to take responsibility.

Perhaps I am my own echo chamber, and the staunch anti-free-will advocate may combat my statements about taking responsibility. But here's what I know — if I don't feel in control of my own life, or at least certain aspects of it, I will feel worse about my life. I would be choosing to have a handicapped psychological disposition.

One might argue that we should have the strength to accept the harshness of reality. I totally agree! Let's not deny reality; let's embrace the harshness of life. As adults, this is part of life: accepting the rose with the thorns. But the thing is, we cannot prove that free will is or is not reality!

So we have a choice. I choose what will empower my psychology. What will you choose?