Does pragmatism bury our dreams?

Thinking practically has been a strength of mine, but also ones that has pushed down many desires in service to a goal. The most common manifestation for me has been overworking or the denial of fun — I have foregone the pursuit of hobbies or purely recreational excursions for the sake of pursuing music or supporting myself financially.

The denial of fun does not mean the need for fun disappears. That tends to manifest itself in a distorted way, sometimes polluting other pursuits, sometimes complementing them. I've often had the thought that they only socializing I'll be willing to do is socializing in a musical context that will allow me to exercise my musical talents in some way. It feels practical — when you're trying to climb musical mountains, what time is there to “waste” in non-musical pursuits?

The myopia of this thinking is not lost on me. There's a strong argument to be made that life inspires and integrates into music in ways that we cannot anticipate. Climbing a real mountain, soaking in the struggle of the ascent and the beauty of the vistas, can inspire your music. Socializing with non-musical friends can lead to new perspectives on creativity and inspire your music. Pursuits and explorations outside your career or artistic medium can indirectly — and sometimes significantly — influence or benefit our art.

I remember winning a research grant to study flamenco guitar music in Spain during my college years. I was in music school, and I had several friends chastise me for not spending my summer in the practice room, deliberately working on my technique. Ironically, the study of flamenco that summer was inestimably higher leverage than a summer of technical practice — over a decade later, I am able to write pieces influenced by my time in Spain, attracting musicians whose technical skill is far above my own but whose interest in my musical voice affords us mutual respect and intrigue in working with one another. I still have something unique and interesting to offer, far beyond what the “practical” choice would have afforded me.

I realized recently that I have buried dreams, dreams smothered breathless by practicality. Oddly enough it's been the practicality of pursuing music that has buried other interests. I have so often thought — I'd love to do improv comedy, but I don't have time for that. Any spare time I have should be focused on advancing my music or resting for the next day.

I wonder if authenticity in our personal or artistic voice is synonymous with accepting our genuine desires. What if comedy or silliness can integrate with my music, and what if improv comedy would support my music in ways I cannot presently anticipate? Bo Burnam comes to mind as someone whose comedic and musical talents have brought him a success that the individual talents may not have, even if focused on intensely.

Time to pick up the shovel and dig up those buried dreams