What if this is just what you need right now?

We can reframe our experience with questions. Questions can reshape our perspective, offering a new light, a different angle from which we can experience something. Our experience is ultimately internal—and questions can reform what that experience is.

I recently came from a meditation retreat. I expected to emerge refreshed, renewed, vibrant, and with an exuberant attitude toward life. Instead, I find my energy much lower. I am physically and emotionally tired, going through a difficult set of negative emotions and narratives that had otherwise been subdued.

It is not at all what I expected. But what if it's exactly what I need right now?

The pessimist in me scoffs, saying that these questions are simply a means of blindfolding and gaslighting ourselves from a harsh truth or unsavory disappointment. The pessimist demands that we toughen up and bear the prickly reality for what it is, rather than suspend our pain via some pacifying perspective.

An older, wiser consciousness will kindly rebuff such a perspective. The pessimist has faced much disappointment and tries to protect itself from more. Reshaping our perspective is not only a choice—it is an act of agency. It is a reclaiming of our reality. It is self-parenting, self-soothing in a very healthy and useful way. Our realities cannot be fully known—not in an objective sense. Whether an experience is "good" or "bad" is, in large part, up to us. We have a role to play in shaping the experience.

As I navigate choppier waters, I like to ask myself questions that help make meaning from the challenge: What if this is what I need right now? What are these feelings telling me? What is my body telling me? What is the opportunity here? What can I learn from these feelings?

When you experience a rough patch, these questions—and others like them—are tools to help us through. Like in a cold winter, we may not be able to change the season or control the weather. However, we can choose to bundle up, make a fire, serve ourselves tea, and invite others to join us. We may even be able to find fun and play in the cold season—enjoying the bundling up, cozying up with a book or a movie, or playing out in the snow. We can use internal tools to get us through the winters.

When we focus on what we can control, we have a chance to adapt to our environment, however bitter it may be. When you next find yourself in a tough spot, remember to pick up your tools, build your fortress, and take care of yourself. We cannot change the season, but we can flow with it.