Being an adult is knowing that there are no right answers.

Sure, there are the extremes—don’t murder, don’t set buildings on fire, don’t be a jerk for no reason. I’m talking about the day-to-day choices, though.

Let’s start with the banal. Do you go out with friends or stay at home and chill? Do you choose a career in tech or the arts? Do you watch this show or that show? Do you go to this concert or read a book?

I’ll admit a weakness: I often get caught up in overthinking and decision-making on pretty inconsequential choices. Someone invites me to a party—do I go, or do I stay home to get an early start the next day? Do I spend $50 on an event to see my friends? I have so many goals and am juggling two careers—shouldn’t I focus on those, and only socialize when they’re on track?

Yeah, that’s overthinking perfected. There is no right answer to those questions. Having goals and articulated values can help, though. If you value connection with people over a full night’s rest, it might make your choice to go out easier. If you prioritize financial security, you may decide to save the $50 and hang out another time.

I’ve learned that hard work doesn’t always correlate with outstanding output. It’s not often linear, particularly when social levers can unbound one’s potential. Here’s what I mean: you could wait tables and practice guitar until exhaustion, but if a record producer meets you at a party and decides to produce you, that connection could provide more leverage for your music career than endless practice ever could.

That kind of upside—perhaps better described as a myth or a lotto-ticket win—cannot be planned for and is low-probability at best. But there’s a network effect: the more you go out, the more you share your gift, the more opportunities arise to amplify it. At some point, your gift may meet a critical mass of success.

There’s a balance, of course. My gifts are best supported by regular practice. The sharper I am—linguistically, athletically, or musically—the better my contributions will be. The more I grow as an artist. Regular practice is essential to improvement, but it’s best complemented by sharing my work. I always feel more motivated when my efforts meet an audience, when I can flex new capabilities and see their impact.

Ultimately, there is no authority who will tell you your life choices or balance are wrong. Maybe that’s the discomfort—as an adult, you are that authority.

How will you assess your choices? How can you instill grace and forward momentum into each day?