We have a natural need to nurture and care for others.

This impulse manifests most obviously in the healthy parent-child relationship. There is a natural desire to see our little ones grow and thrive. They are a literal extension of us through our genetics, and we have a biological impulse to take care of them.

This need does not escape us when we forego having children. That impulse remains. So, how can we satisfy such a need?

A good friend of mine, who is an incredible musician and pedagogue, recently decided not to have children. I was surprised by his decision and asked him about his thoughts. The details of his decision are less important than the other side he shared — he mentioned that his university students were the ones that received his care, his guidance, his surrogate parenthood. He was not just a music teacher but a guide, someone who helps a young person along their way. While he would not have kids of his own, he could pass on his knowledge and wisdom to those coming under his wing.

I have avoided teaching music for a long time, but this line of thought made me reconsider the value of teaching. It meets a very important need for us to give back, to live beyond ourselves, to connect by accompanying others along a path we've already tread. It's a beautiful way to satisfy our healthy need to care.