It always pays to play nice, especially at work.

No, I'm not saying be a pushover. I'm not saying take S***. I'm not saying don't stand up for what you believe in.

Yes, I'm saying assume the best intent. I'm saying frame your questions with grace. I'm saying privilege the interpersonal connection.

Even if they'll never become your friends outside of work, play nice.

It's better for your health. It's better for your soul. It's better for your long-term network.

Even if there's clear (to you at least) bad intent, assume the best. A positive assumption here is a tool, a utility to help you bridge the gap between you and another person who's just trying to survive. It helps position you positively and cheerfully. It helps you escape fight or flight. It helps you thrive in the workplace.

We're all just kids on the playground. Don't be the bully. Be the friend. We are all just figuring out how to play and to get the grades we need so we can go home happy. Some kids will be mean. You will meet bullies. But remember that bullies have their own issues—and you can befriend them and get them on your side, even if just for a moment.

I remember as a kid befriending social outcasts. Middle and high school are cruel, and some kids are left on the social sidelines or are raised in rough environments that make them bullies. I remember first encountering kids with a tough exterior and getting past that with some curiosity and gestures of friendship. I also remember that when others came to pick on me, those "outcasts" would come to my aid—literally coming to my defense and telling the other kids to back off.

The workplace isn't so different. It can be rough out there, but building alliances through grace and personal connection makes it easier for others to come to your aid when you need it. When you need a project moved forward, the trust you build through personal connection expedites it—it doesn't have to be just a work obligation but can be a collaboration between friends. And when times get tough, your allies will cover you. And you the same for them.

Yes, the workplace can be complicated. Sure, this may be a reductionist view. But take a closer look. This simplification can offer us grace, perspective, and compassion for ourselves and others in the workplace.

How can this viewpoint shape the way you play at work?