Have Gratitude for Your Luxuries

Looking for a formula for misery? Compare upwards.

At my worst, I am guilty of near exclusive upwards comparison to bemoan my circumstances. Never mind those less fortunate, it's the multi-millionaires and media demigods who are the appropriate object of comparison. When cutting yourself down, why not aim high?

It's trite, perhaps, but comparison is indeed the thief of joy—especially when we compare ourselves or our circumstances to soundbites of others', the imagined bits of an unrealized ideal life, or similar folly that takes us out of the present moment and into the space of lack.

I have also been guilty of perpetuating this folly through deprivation. Growing up in unstable circumstances, I often felt it inappropriate to luxuriate. Luxury is unnecessary. It's excessive. It's disrespectful to the less fortunate. Why should I enjoy comfort while others suffer?

The older I get, the more I appreciate subtlety. Black and white is so pre-school. Grey and color, comfort with ambiguity and diversity of experience—these are more aligned with the lived experience. Our organic world was not built nor architected in boxes. It was grown.

So why talk colors? Because multiple frequencies can live in the same spectrum of experience. It can be true that others have it better. It can be true that others have it worse. It can be true that we don't deserve our luxuries. It is also true that enjoying our life is our right.

Guilt has no place here—it's an artifact or at best a compass. If we feel guilty for luxuriating, perhaps it's a sign we can do more. Fine then, make the plan, take the action, make the donation, or do whatever fulfills your moral obligations for your privilege. Beyond that, guilt becomes a shame—if you can't enjoy your life experience, that is even more disrespectful to those who can't have such a good experience. Appreciate and savor your luxuries.

Today I am on a business class flight from Geneva to Washington D.C. No, I am not rich. I paid with points. Regardless, it is an absolute luxury. Lounge access, expedited boarding, cordial treatment, extra checked bags, better meals, and the overall relaxation that the trip will go smoothly. I savor this experience.

We can both savor our current reality and strive for more. The two need not be mutually exclusive.