There is a sweet spot between pressure and complete freedom. Tension. It’s not pressing too hard to break, not too loose to be formless.

Many friends and acquaintances in the classical and jazz music world often remark on how much pressure those cultures place on its musicians. Many quit by the time they get to college. Many suffer from serious mental struggles from the expectations of demanding teachers and more highly skilled peers. Everywhere they look, they are not enough.

This leads to a fear in performance. You cannot make a mistake or you will be considered unworthy of being a musician. So many amateurs don’t dare call themselves musicians because they are not as skilled as a vague notion of some superior musician. It’s a shame.

Sitar has been a powerful medium for me to explore and develop skills in environments where the stakes were low. Ironically the culture of the instrument in Hindustani Classical music is extremely high pressured with high standards. But I would play the instrument without pressure — in western environments where no one really know what good sitar sounded like. I could play whatever I wanted and I would almost always get praise due to the unique sound of the instrument.

I approached most gigs with the attitude that no matter what, people would enjoy the music. Sometimes that left me a bit too loose in my performing, but over the years it’s allowed me to develop a deep comfort in performing with the instrument. It’s allowed me to be creative, to take risks, to explore new frontiers whenever I played. And after many years and consistent playing out, I feel confident saying I’m pretty decent at what I do.

The growth for me came from intrinsic motivation to challenge myself each performance in some way. I might play in a new mode. I might demand that write a new tune before the gig. I may try a new piece of gear. There was tension in the demands I placed on myself, while simultaneously knowing that I was fundamentally safe in my performing. No one was going to boo me, and I could try new things to get better every time I performed.

Remove the pressure. Keep the tension.