What is the distinction between status and stature? The word "stature" was recently introduced to me in a coaching context as a symbol for how I feel about and comport myself. When I consider my worthiness in social contexts -- as outside someone's musical, spiritual, romantic, or some other league -- I think of how I can bypass the illusion of better and worse between human beings. While there may indeed be distinctions in status between us, a certain stature may serve as a stabilizing internal force that at minimum provides a backbone of self-confidence and at best may bypass material status as a force of charisma.

The well-rehearsed comparison to others seems to serve an evolutionary purpose. It places us in hierarchy, lets us know who to follow and who to lead, who to pay more or less attention to for our own resourcing or advantage. Jordan Peterson (controversial as he may be) elucidates a compelling argument in his book "12 Rules for Life" that hierarchy is fundamental to human social behavior and that we are comparing ourselves to others instinctively all the time. This behavior is natural and perhaps unavoidable. We cannot stop comparing ourselves at some level, but we can use the tools of awareness to limit the negative forces of comparison that make us feel low, less than others, or unworthy.

Status is a common object of comparison. It is an easy target, measurable in financial or media metrics. Stature, on the other hand, is an internal spectrum of self-worth that can be grown independent of status, and moving towards a high stature is an internal act of standing up straight and believing in oneself. While stature is an internal conception, its energy can be felt by others. Stature translates to confidence, charisma, charm. These external characteristics are evidence of high stature.

If I am feeling extremely good about myself -- if I am proud of my life and my work -- the internal stature will emanate in my social behaviors. Others will feel it.

As I ponder the word "stature," I think of it primarily as a positive symbol. If we play around with the notion of stature, we can see the trait poisoned when saturated by self-indulgence, downward comparison of others, or anything trending towards narcissism or arrogance. Stature, however, is free of outward comparison. In its pure forms, it is free of any of these maladies.

How can we cultivate stature? Action in the world and collection of evidence support this cultivation. Stature cannot be cultivated solely in the mind but must be forged in action. When we complete a difficult project, when we ask out someone we are afraid to approach, when we pursue our goals, we build stature regardless of the outcome of those actions. We know that we completed the work that was in our control, and the rest is left to God.

Stature may lead to status. Status may lead to a fragile stature, one that depends linearly on the state of status.