That has my name written all over it.

I had a bad emotional habit. Whenever I saw someone in a place or position I wanted to be, I felt a pang in my heart. Why wasn't I there? They're so lucky to be there. If only I could have that.

Sound familiar? It's the feeling so many of us get when scrolling through social media: FOMO and all its friends. But this one comes comes with a particular flavor in the narrative: whatever they have, you can't have it.

Not a great narrative. Nor a great feeling.

It took me years to untangle that habit, and it started with a phrase a coach shared with me. She suggested that whenever I got that feeling, I should look at the situation and say, "That has my name written all over it." Instead of believing that what I desired was out of reach—whether it was time abroad in Asia, starting my own company, financial freedom, or anything else—I could flip the script and affirm that it was attainable.

Easier said than done, of course. Simply hearing the phrase, "that has my name written all over it," didn’t instantly change my mindset. The process felt like trying on new clothes. It took time to adjust to the phrase, even when it didn’t feel like the perfect fit right away. It required some growing into.

To be honest, I can’t claim there was a playbook or specific procedure that made the phrase click. I don’t have a roadmap to escape the jungle of FOMO. What I do know is that being aware of this phrase as a tool is a powerful starting point. Using it as a reference and a goal can reorient us when we’re reactive to seeing others with things we want but don’t yet have.

At some point, the phrase suddenly clicked for me. I can’t pinpoint why or how, but I think it came from practicing mindfulness around my reactivity and repeatedly trying on the phrase when I could. It wasn’t deliberate practice in the traditional sense. Instead, it felt like a learning curve. Have you ever experienced that moment when learning math, a language, or music, and suddenly everything falls into place? One day, it feels out of reach; the next, clarity is right there.

New attitudes and paradigms can shift like that. Even without a step-by-step guide, simply holding the phrase as a true north can gently reorient your thinking. It feels like it does some of the work for you.

My experience of FOMO is very different now. Just the other day, I spoke with a friend whose income far exceeds mine. My past self would have felt a pang of frustration or envy. Now, I can hear about others’ success with detachment. I can think, “Oh, that’s cool—they make that much money. I can do that too. Exciting!”

Here’s the key: I don’t overthink it or get caught up in reasons why I might not achieve the same thing. The point isn’t whether I’ll actually accomplish what they have. The real benefit lies in priming my mind for a happier, more open outlook—one that’s ready to receive and seize opportunities when they arise.

The next time you find yourself trapped by FOMO—and let’s be honest, we’re all susceptible—say to yourself: "That has my name written all over it." Try it on. See how it fits. Over time, you may find your mindset shifting, and “missing out” won’t feel so bad anymore.