Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.

We've all heard this. It sounds obvious when you're sitting comfortably on the ground. But when you're devoted to something—a cause beyond yourself, your job, your child, someone you love—it becomes surprisingly easy to forget.

There are even spiritual philosophies that ask us to sacrifice ourselves, to become living martyrs in a beautiful, righteous sense. To forget the self. To remember we are part of a collective. And there's truth in that. But the trick is not found in black and white thinking.

The concept of sacrificing ourselves—of living for the sake of something greater—does not require us to actually neglect ourselves. It's directionally correct from a spiritual vantage point, but it's not a complete instruction manual. It was never meant to be.

the job

I've been reflecting on this recently. I devoted myself to a new job—almost blindly, eagerly spending my nights, my weekends, every part of myself doing this work.

And even though I had put so much in, I did not get a proportional reward. Not the recognition. Not the growth. Not the glory I had hoped for.

Worse yet, I neglected things that were important for my own basic functioning. Reimbursing expenses. Getting medication. Getting sufficient sleep. The mundane stuff that keeps a person operational.

The overworking didn't produce what I expected. But it did produce a reminder.

the parent

If I'm parenting a child, yes, I must prioritize them. Yes, their needs are important. But if I do not take care of myself sufficiently, how can I be a good parent? How can I show up in a way that is healthy if I haven't put my own oxygen mask on?

I can only operate at half capacity. Maybe less.

the caveat

Of course, some of us don't have a choice. The circumstances of our lives put us in places where we may not have the luxury to prioritize ourselves. I get that. I respect it. It's legitimate.

But many times it is a choice. It's learning to create boundaries and systems where you take care of yourself in a way that is in service to your responsibilities—whether that's your job, your partner, your child.

Taking care of yourself does not need to be an act of selfishness.

Indeed, the spirit of self-care can be one of service.