When the same issue keeps coming up, maybe it's not time to solve the issue.

Maybe it's time to solve for you.

There are a few ways to look at it. Maybe this is hard to hear: you might be the one creating the pattern—when you keep attracting avoidant partners, when you keep finding yourself in toxic workplaces.

But maybe the better frame is spiritual: there's something for you to learn, some way you're meant to grow. Perhaps there's a missing awareness—a mindset or behavior you haven't yet seen and need to unravel.

Or perhaps it's simply about acceptance. The issue comes up again and again because you haven't accepted it. Maybe it's not an issue at all—it's only a problem because you make it one.

I've had tinnitus—a high-pitched ringing in my ears—for about 15 years now. And I'm totally at peace with it. But it didn't start out that way.

When the ringing first came on and didn't disappear, I was scared. Unnerved. I thought I was losing my hearing. I couldn't sleep at night—I couldn't stand the noise. I struggled for months, agonizing over the sound that would never go away. I missed the sound of silence.

I remember looking online for a cure. Plenty of scam programs selling long courses and magical practices to get rid of it. None of them work. Nothing scientifically backed. It looked hopeless.

I happened upon a thread on some forum. Someone shared how they "cured" it—by accepting it. By learning not to fight it. Stopping the struggling, the thrashing, the non-acceptance.

Those narratives don't always resonate with me—I'm a big believer in the difference between acceptance and complacency—but this one landed. After exploring everything else, I figured acceptance was worth a shot.

And today, even now, I hear that high-pitched ringing. But I've made peace with it. I've even made friends with it. I don't struggle or fight it.

Sometimes it's not about solving the actual "issue." Maybe it cannot be solved. And sure, it may even be a real injury—a one-way door, whether a ringing of the ears or the loss of a loved one.

Finding a way to accept—even if you have to pass through grief—is sometimes a truer answer than trying to fix what you once thought was the problem, especially when the real work is in you.