Depression is often just anger that's been turned inward.

A wise friend told me this once, and it stuck. The pain, the frustration, the pent-up rage—when it has nowhere to go, it transmutes into self-flagellation. Thoughts of self-loathing, sometimes self-harm, are that same energy redirected at yourself.

I know this struggle. It comes up from time to time, usually because I'm hard on myself. I hold myself accountable for mistakes I make. Sometimes it's hard to forgive myself.

So what helps? Not necessarily a mental exercise where you tell yourself I've been hurt and I need to forgive myself. Sometimes it's simpler than that. Taking yourself out for ice cream or a nice meal. Reaching out to a friend. Doing the actions you don't want to do—mechanically, if you have to—whether that's working out or getting to bed on time. Sometimes it means slowing down and doing less.

The key is to observe your thoughts. And when you catch them attacking you—pause. Externalize. Ask yourself: Would I say this to a child? A 5-year-old?

This reframe offers a way to treat yourself more kindly. Because ultimately, we're still those children inside.

There's a quote from 'Abdu'l-Bahá I love:

"When a thought of war comes, oppose it by a stronger thought of peace."

Maybe there's a transposition here. When the angry, self-afflicting thought comes—oppose it with self-forgiveness. With kindness. With compassion for that inner child.

Not as a cure. But as a way through. Day by day.