Dance with your emotions.

Many of us experience intense feelings as a struggle for control. We must either control them, or they control us. It is a battle for survival, a coup for the throne of awareness. If we let them, emotions will fully assimilate into us and become us; if we banish them, we turn into a cold husk.

Where is the balance?

These emotions are not us, nor are they unwelcome. They are guests to be treated honorably. They cannot be controlled without consequence, nor can they control us without consequence.

The balance is in the dance.

When we dance with others, we are in consort with ourselves, the other, and the flow of the music. If we are too forceful or controlling in our gestures, the dance is stiff and unpleasant. If we take no control, the dance is confusing or disoriented, leaving the dance partner to take control in the void.

Dancing with our emotions means acknowledging them. It means giving them space to breathe without control. Perhaps it means letting the emotion rage on its own. Or perhaps it requires a tight tango. Dance is varied and expresses the full range of feeling, after all.

When I feel a sudden flood of emotion, I let myself feel it. I used to think that feeling it and ruminating on it was the way to let it pass. With more time and experience, I've learned that feeling it is only part of the dance. The other part is knowing when to take the lead, when to follow the demands of the music. For me, it's meant saying to myself, "I feel that, that's real. Now we have some work to get to."

The music must go on, and so must your life. Don't stand still on the dance floor.

Here's my invitation: the next time you feel a rush of emotion, ask yourself:
"How can I dance with this feeling?"
"What kind of dancer is this emotion?"
"What is the music we must dance to today?"

You may find yourself relating to your dance partner in a whole new way.